Alcohol – making cyclists fat since 1901.

Occasionally, you read the odd article claiming that a beer or a glass of wine a day can actually be beneficial. I’m not a scientist (for those of you that knew me at school this will come as no surprise.)
The only thing we ever did in science was throw jelly on the ceiling and set fire to the Bunsen burner gas taps to create a flame thrower. I think science teachers need to be a little bit crazy to deal with such high jinx. We had one in particular who was convinced that we were smuggling mud into the classroom in our pockets to drop onto the floor. He never realised that we had to walk across the field to get into the classroom.

Anyway, I digress…. I won’t claim that alcohol is good for your health or that it will make you immortal. You may thing you’re immortal after a few shorts but a trip to A&E usually confirms the opposite.
Why am I wittering on you ask?

Well, in my quest to become the best cyclist this country has ever seen (or less fat and able to cycle to Paris in 3 days and not come last in a Cat 4 race – n.b the official British Cycling listings for my race actually say I came 19th out of 22 – I guess 3 people must have quit/broken down), I have almost cut out on the booze, with the exception of special occasions, such as birthdays, weddings and lunch hours.
Since the New Year (British not Chinese), I have only drank alcohol on a handful of occasions and I can honestly say that I’m not missing it.

I think it’s helped with the weight loss but it has also opened my eyes to a few things:

Drunk people irritate me -I’ve had a few conversations with people that are drunk. Mostly, they make no sense and I have to walk away.

The local shop owner can’t afford that new car - I must literally have been bankrolling that place. Will I now feel guilty if they are forced to close? Am I the reason that the local economy is failing?

As a general evening observation – girls in clubs are ugly.

I’m ugly, ok maybe not ugly but I am not Brad Pitt.

I can’t dance. Fact.

Kebabs don’t taste nice.

This is a hard one to believe – I am not always right.

I can now drive to and from a party. Again, this is leading to local economy issues with the local minicab company. I am the cause for the world cashflow crisis.

So, my life without alcohol has actually made me a better person. I’m fitter, faster and wealthier. I’m not saying that I’ll never drink again but I will certainly cut out all the unnecessary day to day drinking.

The future’s bright, the future’s Orange….. juice…..