Tour Down Under - Stage 1 Review

With determination and self control, I managed to avoid the lure of the internet and went all day without seeing the result from Stage 1 of the Tour Down Under.
After seeing the highlights, one thing is pretty clear - these early season opening tours are pretty dull. Wow, a sprint point, wow one king of the mountains climb.......
I am so glad that the highlights are only 30 minutes! Anyway, so Matt "From Bros" Goss benefited from Prince Harry leading him out and took the win ahead of Greipel.
I'm still not sure why Cavendish wasn't up there trying for the win but I have a number of theories:

Theory 1
He isn't in fact racing in the Tour Down Under and has merely been named to boost ratings.

Theory 2
Mark Cavendish is in fact Andre Greipel and dresses in a gorilla suit to take obscure race wins in a hope to claim two salaries.

Theory 3
Andre Greipel ate Mark Cavendish.

Theory 4
Mark Cavendish is using the Tour Down Under to raise fitness and get miles in the legs and will not compete any sprints.

Theory 5
Mark Cavendish is so busy getting it on with Page 3 girls that he forgot to race.

Theory 6
Cavs is taking one for the team and letting someone else hog the limelight.

Theory 7 (ties in with 6)
Mind games, pure and simple. "Hey Greipel, you're not even fast enough to beat our number 2"

Theory 8
Lance Armstrong paid Cavendish to lay low so he can capture the headlines in his farewell international tour.

Theory 9
Out of season dental surgery has again dealt Mark a cruel blow and a surgical mistake has meant that he's ended up with a massive set of 36EE boobs. He's now trying desperately to cover them up by cycling anonymously in the pack until corrective surgery or a Page 3 contract comes into play.

Tour Down Under

As I write this, the first stage of the Tour Down Under has already finished and the new racing season is underway. I'm now going to spend the rest of the day frantically avoiding any media outlets that will spill the beans and ruin the result for me. As per usual, i'll probably manage until mid afternoon and then will click onto www.bikeradar.com without thinking and ruin things for myself.
It's kind of hard though when you're addicted to cycling like I am.
And so, to pro cycling and the tour itself......
I saw the Cancer Classic crit race highlights on Sunday (surprise result beautifully ruined by a Facebook update from Team Sky by the way) and don't honestly know what happened to Cavendish and Greipel at the end. Anyone got any idea why they weren't there at the finish? Nice to see Matt Goss get the win though. He's come a long way since his 80's music success in Bros.
The main excitement though has to be about the Mark Cavendish and Andre Greipel showdown. Both are amazing talents in their own right but my money has to go on Cavendish. He's such a talent and it's refreshing to have someone who's so brutally honest all the time. Admittedly, he doesn't always say the right thing all the time but I like the fact that he wears his heart on his sleeve.
The other big news of the TDU is the international retirement of Lance Armstrong. Love him or hate him, I can't help but feel a little sad about his departure. He's raised the profile of the sport as a whole and I hope he can get into a break this week and give the fans a nice send off.