It's July. Woo!

I have to admit, I absolutely love watching the Tour de France. It has pretty much taken over our household at the moment.
Every evening is arranged to fit perfectly around the Tour highlights.
I manage to fit in a quick blast on the bike after work, shower and then sit down in front of the telly with dinner for 7pm to watch the ITV4 highlights show. Even the kid’s bedtime has been put back slightly so that nothing is missed.
ITV’s coverage this year is pretty special. Disappointed with the lack of Ned Boulting but really enjoying watching Chris Boardman wobble slowly up the finishing straight on the sprint stages pointing out the exact spot where Mark Cavendish is likely to next cause a massive pile up.
Now, Chris is a legend in his own right but I am a little bit disappointed with his liberal choosing of which stage to feature. Why does he always favour the sprint and why don’t we see him riding up to the summit finishes to show us where Alberto Contador is going to attack from? Laziness……

So, after yesterday’s stage it’s all poised for a Contador/Schleck showdown. Shame about Cadel losing time but he’s an absolute hero for a gutsy performance with a fractured elbow. The suffering is always the most endearing part of the Tour. Cyclists give their all and perform whilst injured at a level that footballers can only dream of.

I do think that race organisers should try to shake things up a bit more next year by replacing the yellow jersey with a yellow cardigan. Primark have got them dead cheap and riders are likely to prolong the wearing of it until closer to Paris……

stolen time

The breeze feels cool on my skin as I stand with my eyes closed breathing in the air around me.
I'm standing over my bike waiting for my Garmin to acquire satellite. It's eerily quiet, something i'm not used to living in this part of London.
At last, I am found and I can set off about my business.
It's 6am on a Saturday morning, I couldn't sleep. The heat of the last few days has been unbearable. I lay in bed unable to find comfort and in the end decide that a few cool miles before the sun does it's thing is what I need.
I don't have to be out at this time, but I want to be. I'm almost excited as I set off onto the quiet roads.
I stop at a red light and look around, nobody, nothing, just me. The ordinarily busy flyover is today devoid of life. I ride in the centre of the 2 lanes as i build up some speed and take my hands of the bars, arms outstretched, eyes closed as I feel the warm sun on my face and the air on my chest. This is what flying must feel like.
The High Street is dispatched with speed as I take a left hand bend and swoop past the ponds. This feels great.
I reach the first real hill of the day and i'm transported back in time to teenage years when I last cycled up this hill. My best friend and I used to cycle this route to visit some girls we knew. Feels like a lifetime ago.
The world's starting to wake up now and a few cars are beginning to awake from their slumber.
I pass a girl running in the opposite direction. I nod and she smiles. It's as if we're both in on the secret.
My pace increases as I push harder towards home, there's a slight descent on the road and as I curl into a tuck and push down hard on the pedals I imagine myself racing, not for the win but to launch the man who's going to win the sprint. My imagination works into overdrive as my legs become a blur. I give it my all and as my legs give out their last I see him power away into the distance as I sit up and watch him cross the line, arms in the air.
I roll back into my road and give the bike a backwards glance as I tuck it away in the garage. Perfect, absolutely perfect........

Unfinished business.

It’s me again. I know it’s been a while since we last met but I’ve been struggling to get you out of my mind.
When we were first together, I think I underestimated you and didn’t quite live up to your expectations of me. I’m sorry. I wish things had been different and I had been more prepared but I just wasn’t ready.
Since we last met, I’ve thought about you often. I can’t say every day because that would be a lie but images of you have come into my head from time to time. It bothers me that I wasn’t enough for you and that our relationship failed early on.
I needed to see you again, to make things right between us…..
Click. Click. Click. I should really get this bottom bracket fixed but I’m too lazy. The sound helps to reassure me. It’s familiar and familiar’s good.
The route’s familiar too, it should be. I ride it most weeks. Today though, there is something different. The monster is back. Nemesis.

I’ve had such a great year, especially with my cycling but there’s one thing that I’ve failed at and it’s really bothered me. I tried cycling up this hill a few weeks ago and although I pedalled the whole way before, I stopped for breath and that felt like cheating. I needed to come back and clear the demons. Make right my failures.

It’s hot outside and after last night’s beers, this really isn’t the best day to try something like this but I just needed to get out. I wasn’t planning on riding Nemesis but it just sort of happened and sometimes, those days are the best.

I’m taking it easy, too much of my riding of late has been for a purpose or a goal and I’m missing the natural joy that pedalling a bicycle brings. I reach the top of Nemesis and look down at the road that I’ll be crawling up very soon. The butterflies in my stomach are back.

This is pathetic. It’s only a hill, but it isn’t. 1 mile of relentless asphalt with a gradient of 20%. It’s not about the physical anymore, it’s about what this climb represents. Success and failure. The past and the future.

I freewheel down and turn around in the cul-de-sac to the side of the road that marks the beginning of the climb.
I pause and compose myself. This is it.

My revolutions start slow and measured. I took things for granted last time and was too arrogant. I click through the gears as the road lifts towards the sky. I feel comfortable.
I’m in my bottom gear now and I can no longer stay seated. The hairpin’s getting closer, I weave left and right as I crawl up, like an ant on a lion’s back.

I pass the mark where I stopped last time and I can almost see myself there struggling for breath. How weak I looked as my chest heaves in and out. I gave up too early but that was before and this is now.
I still can’t sit down, it’s too much for my legs. I try but manage a couple of revolutions before my thighs start to burn. I want to stop, I really want to stop. This is relentless.

I know I’m getting closer to the end, I’m definitely near the end but it doesn’t take away the pain. I still want to quit but it would be stupid to now. The worst is almost over. And then, I see it. The Give Way sign that tells me I’m 100 yards from the end and this pain is nearly finished.

Breathe. Breathe. Deeper. I’m there. I’ve made it to the end of my misery.

I continue to spin my legs as I move away from the top of the hill. It’s over. I did it. The weight’s been lifted………. Finally, closure.