What's cracking?

Thought i'd give you a bit of an update for where things are at the moment.

Riding has taken a dip lately, just struggling to find motivation if i'm honest. No real targets to train for and the dark nights aren't inspiring me to get out and ride. I bought a new light thinking that being able to see where I was going might help but i've only used it twice in the last couple of weeks and on the second time, a funny looking man lingering in the woods made my ride a little uneasy. I should really man up!

Now that my winter road bike is freshly serviced, i'll get out a bit more in the evenings to try not to turn into too much of a blimp. I need less days like yesterday where I sack off my ride after 4 miles and go for a Pizza Hut buffet. Didn't attempt the full record of 17 slices but put in a steady 14 with a side salad.

I've bought a few new pieces of bivvying kit. Mainly Alpkit stuff - a few dry bags and such like. Also got a cheap down sleeping bag from Millets in the sale which they reckon has a comfort rating of -4 degrees and an extreme rating of -21. Think this is very optimistic though as it is really thin. I'll give it a go though and if I freeze to death, i'll know who to blame.

One bonus of the cold weather is that i've been allowed one of my Christmas presents early - my lovely Alpkit Filo jacket. It's proper toasty and for the money, a bit of a bargain. I can see why the sleeping bags are so popular now and think that if I live through winter, i'll treat myself to one of their bags asap.

I have a bivvy trip lined up for the Christmas break (if I don't squeeze one in before). I'm meeting up with a friend who's also keen to give it a go and we're heading out into the Peak District. Should be a good laugh. I've bought a hip flask for the occasion so I can drink myself to sleep. I'll post pictures and a full on kit list when it happens so keep your eyes peeled.

Not much else going on. Still considering the Mach n Back but will wait to see how this first trip goes. I think at the least, i'll be heading to Afan in January for some trail centre riding.

Customer Service?

I took my Allez in last week for a service at Bike Plus. Ordinarily I use GB Cycles but Bike Plus is a sister company and it was easier for me to park on my way to visit some friends.


The gears weren’t shifting well and the bike hasn’t been serviced professionally since I got it. I’ve generally worked on it myself but I thought a full service would do it some good heading into winter. I must have picked up a puncture in the morning, prior to dropping the bike off as the front tyre was flat when I put it on the car.

I dropped the bike in and agreed to the £120 full service, explaining that I’d punctured that morning and would like a new tube put in whilst the bike was being worked on.

I collected the bike yesterday and all seemed well so I decided to go for a ride. I got 2 miles down the road before the front was flat again and so had to change the tube. I was so annoyed, I just returned straight home. It was my only real chance of a decent ride this week so I was even more fed up.

I called Bike Plus to see if they’d changed the tube to be told the mechanic put air in it and it seemed to stay up so they thought they’d save me a few pounds by not changing the tube. Now, I’m no mechanic but in all the years I’ve been puncturing tyres, I’ve never seen air repair a tyre. Generally, when a tube gets a puncture, it needs to be repaired or replaced. I wouldn’t have minded so much if I had been told this when I collected the bike as I’d have changed the tube myself, prior to going out or even if the shop had said “you know what, we screwed up.” Instead, I get a shrug of the shoulders and a “not bothered” attitude.

I won’t be using them for a service again……

Motivation

I have none.

That is all.

Taking back nature, one step at a time.

I ventured out on my mountain bike yesterday in the vague hope of finding some wilderness. I struck gold.

I’m used to following my nose on the road but when it comes to off road riding there’s always that nagging doubt that says, “don’t do it – you could die.” Ok maybe, I’m being a bit extreme with the death part, especially living in Surrey but I’m sure you get the theme of what I’m trying to get at here, for a city dweller, I put myself outside of my comfort zone.

Fortunately, I had a route planned on my Garmin Etrex so I wasn’t truly alone out there but for the first time in a long time, I felt like I really was away from it all. I set off from home and headed out onto the North Downs – while I think of it, why are they called Downs? I did a fair bit of climbing. Optimistic mapmaker perhaps? You wouldn’t like to see their 2am girl after a few beers. “Yeah, she’s really good looking……..”

Anyway, so I’m in the wilderness and it’s fun. It’s really fun and I’m asking myself why don’t I do this more often? 4 hours riding around, slipping in mud and crashing through undergrowth is a great way to relieve the stress of normal life. All within 15 miles of Croydon, in the “busy” south east.

Whilst on my mini adventure (which some would call a “bike ride”) I found a beautiful bivvying spot on top of the North Downs (Ups) ridge. Great views, soft comfy ground and close to a pub which holds regular topless modelling competitions – ok I made that last bit up but as I didn’t actually go into the pub, I can’t say for definite that they don’t. My punishment for finding this spot was a puncture but I still think it was worth it.

So when am I bivvying you ask? Soon. I’m practically there with my kit list. I managed to convince my lovely other half to buy me an Alpkit Filo jacket (in Ice Blue if you’re asking) which looks amazing value and should be extremely warm over winter. I considered the “Lego Blue” but I remember my brother getting a Lego man’s head stuck up his nose and that’s a risk I’m not willing to take. I’ve also got an Exped pillow coming from Santa Claus and some nice warm insulated mountain bike shoes. The only thing that’s really stopping me is the weather. I’m scared I’ll freeze to death at night. My sleeping bag is a 2-3 season bag and I know that by having my down jacket, I “could” be ok but for my first bivvy experience, I want it to be warm. I don’t want to have a freezing cold experience that will put me off what will be a good adventure. So, I’m going to wait until I can afford a down sleeping bag. I figure that if I’m going to buy one, I’ll get the best out there and wait until I can afford an Alpkit Pipedream 800 (or 600 in combination with my Filo if needed) which should mean I can theoretically sleep out in snowy conditions and it will be light and not too bulky. I was hoping to do the Mach and Back mountain bike ride in January but that looks like it won’t happen now. I also need to get a tarp to give me some options if the weather turns sour but I might just opt for a micro tarp which would cover just my torso.

One other thing left to buy is a hip flask. I’m determined to get a taste for single malt because a) it is cool and b) I want others to perceive me as being cool. My only concern is that this could turn into an issue in itself. Cold winter night out on the moors – acceptable to have a wee dram? Yes. Nippy morning out on the bike with friends? Nothing wrong with a little convenient drop from a hip flask, especially if you share the wealth. Cold morning outside? A shot to warm the cockles – sounds good to me! Snow outside and a slow morning at work…….. this could lead to a P45 but on the upside, I’d have more time to ride which is always a good thing.

Wacky races...

It's becoming a bit of a tradition that at this time of year, my friend and I ride along some of the route amongst the cars of the London to Brighton Veteran Car Rally.
It's a pleasant morning out and this year we were blessed with mild weather which meant our loop was longer than that of previous years.
Although the route is relatively flat, it's far from easy as our egos dictate the need to sprint against the old cars whenever possible and try to outdrag them on the hills, the result of which left me pretty ruined by the end of the 45 miles.
Still, 30 year old legs are still more than a match for 100 year old cars. Should I be proud of that though? Perhaps not...

Old school...

Have been getting a bit bored with the road bikes of late so decided to head out on the mountain bike today.
Pretty wet and sloppy out on the trails. Discovered some new bridleways though. Was good riding without the pressure of average speeds for a change. Didn't enjoy cleaning the bike after though.....

Bivvy Hunt

Bit of a wet day today so decided to take out the mountain bike to the local woods to find some potential bivvying spots.
Bit sloppy under foot (tyres!) but I did manage to find a nice location near a ridge. Not particularly the biggest adventure in the history of mankind but it means I can be close to home for a trial run before heading further afield...

Playing with fire......

As a man I think there are those among us who act more like children than we like to admit. Personally, I’m a big kid. If I see something I want, I have to have it now. I’m impulsive and a dreamer.

Whilst we were in the Lakes, we got to visit (along with the interesting pencil museum!) a great number of outdoor shops. I love camping almost as much as I love cycling and I’ve been dreaming for some time, the possibility of combining the two. We’re used to car camping, which brings with it an element of comfort that you just can’t realistically achieve on the bike. We have huge tents that are bigger than caravans, 10cm thick sleeping mattresses which are more comfortable than some hotel beds I’ve slept in, electric hook up so that we can watch dvds or power an electric coolbox. These camping luxuries just aren’t possible when you have to carry them in a pannier set or on your back in a rucksack.

Bikepacking is a term that’s been banded about more and more recently in the press and after reading several articles, I think it’s something that I would enjoy. I’d sooner do multi-day pannier laden trips but when you have a young family and leave is precious, compromising is the key.

Multi-day trips aren’t really an option but chucking some lightweight kit into a rucksack and heading out for an overnight break is something I can do with relative ease and after the initial kit outlay, doesn’t need to break the bank, especially if you wild camp.

So, what do you need? Essentially, some shelter, a mattress, a sleeping bag, a head torch and if you wish to eat/drink hot things – a stove and pan set. Lightweight is the key so I’ve opted for a Rab Storm Bivvy Bag which is essentially a waterproof sleeping bag cover with a zippable hood, an Alpkit Base 120 mattress, lightweight sleeping bag, Alpkit Gamma Headtorch, Blacks Solo cookset and an alcohol stove that I picked up off Ebay. Total cost – around £150 and weighs in at an impressive 3kg to be self supportive for a night.

I now spend most of my time scoping out potential wild camping places to spend the night. One word of advice though, if you do get an alcohol stove – buy meths to fuel it with and not white spirit like I did. We were lucky there wasn’t an explosion at the weekend…….

Lakeland Break

Half term has just passed and after the shock of returning to work after the summer holiday, I was ready for a break. We took some time off work and headed up to the in-laws in the Peak District with the kids.

We spent a nice few days with them before leaving the grandparents to babysit and drive up to the Lake District for a couple of days. Bar a couple of overnight trips for weddings etc, It’s the first time we’ve ever had a break as a couple without the kids so it was a welcome to have time alone and please ourselves for a couple of days.

I’ve never been to the Lake District before but was really happy when we arrived in Keswick. We’d booked a nice hotel in the middle of town and took a couple of days to eat loads and relax.

Seeing as it was to be a relaxing break, we took the hybrid bikes so we could pootle about town. It’s the first time I’ve really ridden this bike since the summer and it became immediately apparent just how heavy it is after riding the Nanolight over the past few weeks!

The Sirrus is a nice bike within it’s own right but is a jack of all trades, master of none! It was good to be out and about on two wheels though, especially in the breathtaking scenery. I think I’m always at my happiest when I’m surrounded by hills, mountains and lakes…..

Carbon Dream

I’m getting pretty lazy at this whole blogging lark. Sometimes, life just gets in the way though…..


Back in September, I finally got around to retiring my Allez from Summer duties and bought myself a Planet X Nanolight. After much deliberation over what to get and whether to create my own carbon masterpiece, I went for the safe option and ordered from an established company. Planet X are known for producing good frames and bike builds at a very competitive price.

I saw that they had an offer of a Nanolight with part SRAM Red groupset and decided that was the bike for me. I added a couple of extra items, like the Nanolight carbon Ergo bars and I have to say I’m very pleased with the end result. The bike came with the Planet X Model B wheelset, which are a great set of wheels but I swapped them over for my Fulcrum Racing 3s. The final bike weighs in around 7.5kg and rides like an absolute dream.

There’s still room for some improvement when funds allow – like a carbon stem and seatpost, along with completing the SRAM Red groupset by buying a crankset and brakes but I’m overjoyed with the bike as it is. Since buying it, I’ve put a good 400 miles on it (in dry, sunny weather only!) and the ride is a revelation.

Having only ridden aluminium bikes before, the lightweight, stiff carbon frame handles precisely and is a pleasure to ride up hills. The gearing shifts precisely and I think that after riding Shimano for so long, I actually think that SRAM is an improvement.

So, the Allez has been relegated to winter use, which is a shame because we’ve been through so much. I guess things move on now and it gives me the option to ride more over winter without the hassle of constantly cleaning the Allez to put it on the turbo. I think this winter will all be about spending more time outdoors, which is never a bad thing…….

A very dark place…..

Thanks to David at The Sufferfest for sending me a free copy of his latest Sufferfest offering. I’m sure in some countries this offering would qualify for an attempted murder charge or assisted suicide but I’m always willing to ruin myself in the name of cycling.


And so it came to be, on the hottest October day that the UK has seen for many, many years, I decide to dust off the turbo trainer from its eight month slumber, send the kids to their bedrooms (there are some things that children just shouldn’t see) and set the fan at the perfect angle where it will blow warm air directly into my face.

Full of trepidation, I pressed play on the Ipad and started spinning my legs whilst I was told just how dark my world was due to become. After the usual five minute warm up that lulls you into a false sense of security, came a series of short sprints – just to get the legs warm you understand, even though my legs were already starting to complain. All too quickly, I’m into the four minute sessions. Thinking back, I remember very little about these efforts, I could have lost consciousness at some points although, I fear like a World War 2 soldier fighting my way onto the landing beaches, I had become shellshocked and my fragile mind decided to block out the horrible memories, suppressing them until my body is strong enough to unlock them again.

I have vague memories of the Schleck brothers longfully looking at each other as Gilbert attacks. I remember cobbles and Fabian Cancellara repeatedly punishing me as I struggle to hold his wheel. Most of all I remember pain and agony compounded in the Criterium du Dauphine as I grovel my way up a mountain as the TV repeatedly screams at me to sit down then stand up, mocking me until my legs begin to cry.

Finally, it’s over. I swear silently as I peel myself off the machine and walk away without looking back. More than ever, I want this warm weather to last so I don’t have to go back to that dark place for a very long time.

I think this is the best offering yet from the Sufferfest, my views supported from my girlfriend who had this to say, “That was amazing, I was sick in my mouth at one point.”

Amazing indeed. Thanks again David, you evil evil bastard.

Isle of Wet

Waiting to board at Yarmouth

“Do you think I need to carry a gillet today?” was the question I asked Mike and Henry as we we’re taking the bikes off the car in the car park close to the Lymington ferry terminal. With hindsight it was a poignant question and one that I’m glad I listened to Mike’s sensible answer that it was worth carrying just in case, rather than Henry’s “I’m not gonna bother, you need to man the F$%k up.”


The skies looked grey, confirming the promised forecast of showers, as we rode the short distance to collect tickets, banana and chocolate biscuit at the ferry terminal. It’s the first time I’d ever entered a calendared Audax event and I was excited at the possibilities that lay ahead. Sportives have usually been my thing but recent entries have rocketed up in price and in some cases, failed to deliver. An event for £17 that promised three ferries and some refreshments was an absolute bargain in my eyes. Mike assured me that the term “ferry” should be used loosely with regards to the chain ferry at Cowes but I remained optimistic.

We left port and set sail for the low seas, catching up on recent news and wondering what lay ahead. I hadn’t visited the island (as Henry a “local” from Southampton calls it”) since I was a 10 year old boy, bar an incident involving my friend’s speed boat, Yarmouth harbour police and a lot of alcohol. I hope this visit was more pleasant than the one my 10 year old self endured when my mate and I were called “arseholes” by a bunch of girls passing our hotel and David (every school had one – you know the type) chucked up, splashing sick on my trousers.

After a short time, we docked at Yarmouth and waited eagerly as the landing ramp lowered to reveal a wall of rain. On with my gillet and out onto the road as within minutes I was as wet as I have ever been.

I’d like to say the views were magnificent but I had the option of either wearing my cycling glasses and wiping them every 30 seconds to reveal a partial strip of tarmac or removing them and squinting ahead, holding back the tears as the rain savagely stung my eyes. The climb up to the needles was welcome to get some warmth into my body and we were amongst the first people there, which made life a bit tricky on the descent as we dodged those ascending behind us. With the constant rolling roads, it was hard to settle into a rhythm, made more difficult by my eccentric chain, which decided to jump out and scream for attention whenever I shifted up to the big ring. It was like having a Shimano version of Graham Norton spinning between my legs.

There comes a point on a wet ride that I like to call “total saturation” where you reach a point where you can’t get any wetter, usually followed by a shake of the head and a laugh. I thought I’d reached this point several times.

We arrived at the control café and warmed up over a cup of coffee. Henry had thought Mike and I had signed up for the full 200km ride but we’d only signed up to the 150km Century ride. After we mocked him and he told us to toughen up, talk turned to how much more rain we’d endure before we packed.

Henry was determined to finish but Mike and I had decided that we were at about an 80% chance of packing after 100km back at Lymington and conveniently close to the warm, dry car, containing warm, dry clothes.

We set off again into the rain, evidently at the right time, preceding the power cut that was yet to blight the café when water leaked through the roof. Henry was in good form and so after a few more miles we sent him on his way as it looked more and more likely that we were going to quit. Even though we had GPS tracks to show the way, rain and steamy glasses was making navigation difficult and it was hard to enjoy the ride because of the concentration of just staying upright. Grit washed onto the quieter lanes got the better of my rear tyre as it hissed air at me. We stopped and changed the tube, aided little by my new Lezyne pump which exploded into pieces in my hand. The new tube was defective which led to more delays and a further replacement as a kind stranger came out of their house to offer a track pump.

On our way again, Mike’s Garmin decided to fill with water and stop working which made for an expensive day for him. My chain was still being silly and so shortly before the chain ferry we decided that 80% was 100% and there are some times when you just have to admit you’re not enjoying it.

With the weight of finishing lifted from our shoulders, the sun emerged as we arrived back into Yarmouth and we made the ferry crossing to return home, 100km under our soggy belts.

A wet me, happy to be quitting at Yarmouth

We called John to say thanks for organising the event and to make sure he knew we would be DNF. I will be back to complete the full route on a sunnier day and to sample the refreshments at the finish HQ. In my opinion, Audaxes offer a cheaper, nicer alternative to the overpriced sportive market and I look forward to sampling more in the future.

I think I’ve had my fair share of bad luck on this ride and hope that at future events, Lady Luck will give me a wink……

Tour Time Baby

Have had a bit of a spending spree this week (more exciting news to follow at a later date) and have picked up a rack and panniers for the Sirrus in the hope of planning some light touring and cycle camping. I'll post some pictures when I fit the bits to the bike but I have a few more bits to get before i'll consider it ready for it's first trip.

Watch this space...

“Un café, s’il vous plait avec un jus de pomme de terre”

There are very few places that I’ve been to where I can honestly say that I would be happy to live there. After spending nearly three weeks in Annecy, in the foothills of the French Alps, I’ve found a place that I can put to the top of the pile. As a cyclist, if you imagine your dream location….. It would need mountains wouldn’t it? Preferably the Alps as they are the greatest stage in the theatre of cycling. You’d obviously need a lake too so you can enjoy the vista and cool off with a swim after those long rides.

Not every day would be a mountain day though. You would want some flat roads so you could recover those weary legs and perhaps head out on leisure rides with the partner and family. How does a 40km off road, smooth paved cycle track sound to you? Good? What if that track was closed solely to cyclists and rollerskaters, dogs were banned from it and pedestrians and runners were forced to the gravel edges? You’d think I was making it up wouldn’t you?

If you want all of the above, Annecy is the place for you.

We’ve just returned from a three week family holiday in France and decided on Annecy for the simple fact that it looked like a promising destination where I could ride my bike and the rest of the family could have fun. It way exceeded my expectations.

My only regret was not taking my road bike. With limited space on/in the car due to the fact we were camping and taking bikes for the whole family, I was allocated one space on the rack for a bike and I didn’t want to put a child seat on the road bike and so I’d recently bought a tag-along bike from a clubmate (thanks Nick!) but my son is just too young to use it for longer rides for a few months yet. I decided that my best option would be to take the child seat and use the opportunity to get a new bike – a Specialised Sirrus Sport hybrid.

My thinking behind this was that I could use the bike for family duties where necessary and it would withstand the abuse of having a childseat bolted to it and I would also not be afraid to leave it locked up in towns when we went sightseeing. On the flip side, it should also be fast enough and pleasant enough to ride that I could go off on my own and conquer some cols…..

Ah, the cols…….. I like to think that after a few years in the saddle and several thousand miles of riding, I’m a pretty competent cyclist. Not amazing but good enough to hold my own and consider myself a proper cyclist. Riding a mountain humbled me. In fact, it nearly made me want to throw in the towel. I now have the utmost respect for every professional cyclist.

I think the problem was my first choice in which one to launch my vicious power on. I’d opted for the Col de La Forclaz from the Montmin side which I’d read was a bit of a challenge. Regardless of how much you cycle in the UK, I don’t thing anything can prepare you for what it is truly like to cycle uphill for nearly an hour. I was in bits by the time I reached the top but happy that I had got there. After several beers that evening, the mental anguish disappeared and I rode 4 other cols over the space of the holiday, loving it so much that I did one twice…..

The best part about riding on the continent is the coffee shop culture where religion dictates that every ride must include an espresso stop. My GCSE French is on the hazier side of perfect but even I managed to get what I wanted, thankfully except for the time I ordered potato juice……..

Hell of the north....

It felt like I’d been punched in the head. A sudden impact, followed by a throbbing pain. It took a few seconds to register what had happened, which ordinarily, would have been ok but at this particular moment, I was travelling downhill at over 35 miles an hour.

A bee sting, just what I need when I’m suffering like a dog on the hardest single day I’ve ever had on the bike. Why did I sign up for this ridiculous event where the organisers are determined to break people? I’m on the 107 mile route of the Northern Rock Cyclone sportive and as you can probably make out by now, it’s not a nice place to be.

It all seemed like a good idea at first. I got an invite from my friend Lee, for a reunion of the London 2 Paris 2010 group. The format was perfect. We were to arrive at Lee’s on Friday, watch the evening criterium races, do the sportive on the Saturday and then catch some of the National Championships on the Sunday. I’ve done a fair few miles this year already and was looking forward to notching up my first century of 2011.

Saturday began wet, with a constant fine drizzle on the three mile ride to the sportive that had us soaked before we even arrived at the starting line. Never a promising start to a century ride but not as bad as the poor soul who hit a traffic island after immediately exiting the car park and was promptly collected by the St John’s Ambulance crew.

The first 20 or so miles flew by. I got into a group and was travelling at a fair pace before I saw sense and eased off a little. This was going to be a long day after all. Soon, we were in the quieter lanes but the damp conditions made for some cautious riders which only added to the difficult conditions. Once again, I was disappointed by the standard of riding I saw. It was as if some people had never ridden in a group before and I would witness several crashes over the course of the day as tired riders weaved across the road.

As the route progressed, the hills came thick and fast as we crossed several valleys and onto the moors, close to military ranges. The distant gunfire adding to my own personal battle. The roads dried but by 60 miles I was really suffering and was greeted by a long single track road that snaked into the distance as far as the eye could see. Did I mention the head wind? I was now at a pitifully 8mph crawl, wishing I’d opted for the shorter route, cursing the organisers for their sadistic ways.

Mile after mile stumbled by as faster riders continually passed me. My only saving grace was that I tackled every climb and refused to walk as some others around me resorted to pushing their bikes up the hill. Compact gears were my saviour.

I created games in by head to pass the time and promised myself jelly babies as I reached milestone markers but it was a struggle to stay motivated. If someone had offered me a ride home at 70 miles, I’d have bitten their hand off.

The century mark came and went and it was a final drag for home. My thighs started to cramp. I hadn’t consumed enough fluids but I was so close, I just had to push on. I’d speed up on the flat and tear away, only to be passed again as soon as the road went skywards when the pain in my thighs became too unbearable.

The finish line arrived and for me, it couldn’t be soon enough. It was done and I carried on back to Lee’s house where the unanimous verdict of “a day in hell” was agreed.

Would I do the ride again? Probably.

Stats for the day (lap 2 for the sportive):

Northern Rock Cyclone

Amateur Home Mechanics Part 3

Following my ridiculous stack on the weekend, I bought some bar tape and had a go at some home mechanics. I went for black this time as the red colour gets dirty pretty quickly. It's taken me a little while to get used to it but I think it makes the bike look more stealthy.

I'm surprised to say that things went smoother than I thought. There were no fires, no injuries and it looks like a visit to the local bike shop won't be necessary. I'm pretty pleased with the results. It's not "bike shop" perfect and there are a few little bits i'm not happy with but for a first attempt, it's not too shabby and I've got that warm glow inside of a DIY job gone well.

I certainly won't be worried about fitting new tape in the future and will change tape more often as it really freshens up the look of the bike.

An alternative way of thinking....

I love being in a bike club. There's always a ride of some description going on and a great sense of inclusiveness. It always feels me with pride to see a group of us in the club kit, it's just a shame I don't get to ride with the club as often as i'd like.

I had a window of opportunity today to get out for a ride with the club on a Saturday. It's not something I always get a chance to do. Usually, a hectic family life means that I fit my weekend riding in around the other weekend activities, often snatching a couple of early morning or late evening rides.

This weekend though, the in-laws are down to stay. This was made obvious by the teapot being carefully brought down from that high shelf at the back of the cupboard and given a thorough clean - it's usually the sign of an impending invasion, followed closely by an enormous shopping list packed full of things that we don't usually buy.

Anyway, they fought their way across the moat and avoided the archers to arrive at the front door. I must have done something right for a change because I was gifted a pass from the Natural History museum and offered the freedom of a Saturday ride with the club. The weather looked ominous but I thought i'd sooner take my chances with it, although to be honest i'd probably have agreed to swim with sharks to get out on my bike this weekend.

I'm a fan of the club run. It does what it says on the tin and offers a head down, bum up ride to the cafe in Charlwood but I fancied a change from the norm today and a bit more of a sociable ride so decided to head out on Pete's Alternative club run.

I was a little bit worried at first as to what alternative meant and whether  these rides were alternative through personal choice rather than shunned by the rest of the club but I need not have worried as although the bunch was a mismatched bunch of misfits, they were all very welcoming and friendly.

10 of us set out and it quickly became apparent that anyone was fair game and the order of the next few hours was to take the piss out of eachother as much as possible.

We sped through the country lanes, some of which i've never seen before, which added to the beauty of the ride. It's nice to have that little edge of not knowing exactly where you are and the fear of being dropped that could result in lost days trudging round Surrey, trying to find a route home.

No fear of that with Pete and Co really though as we all waited at the top of the climbs and made it to the cafe destination of choice - Tulley's Farm where we were greeted by coffee, cake and mystical hovering goats.

The ride back was an eventful mix of rain showers and an off-road excursion along a wooded cycle track. Brilliant stuff, although i'm surprised we didn't get more punctures.

We finished off nicely with a return climb up to the top of Farthing Downs where I managed to complete the most spectacular of bicycle moves and crash whilst standing still. The usual thing of being clipped in with one leg on an adverse camber. Scuff to leg, pride and bartape although I think the guys did very well to stifle their laughs.

Haven't pulled off that move for a long while but I guess i'm still not as proficient on a bike as I like to think.

So, I have the annoying situation now of a slightly scuffed bike (not too bothered) and ripped bar tape (very annoying). I called into the bike shop on the way home and they said they could do it today but then wanted £15 on top of the £12 for the tape so i'll have a go at fitting new tape myself before ruining it, being a tit and taking it to the bike shop for a professional job....

Talk with the legs.....

The sun sets lazily in the background as I survey my surroundings. This is alright.

Today’s been a hectic day. It seems everyone wanted a piece of me. Deadline this, deadline that, help with this, help with that. I don’t have a stressful job and I’m a relatively relaxed person but sometimes it can be draining.

The tension’s drifting away now though, neck loosening and the strains of the day disappearing into space. I take a deep breath and get a lungful of the humid, dense air. There’s a slightly different smell in the air tonight, a mixture between the sweet smell emanating from the flowers and the faint smell of an incoming storm. The air feels heavy around, perfectly balanced ahead of the thunder to come.

It’s good to be out, perched up high on the North Downs, close to civilization but a million miles away from the humdrum of every day life. This is the best part of the year, before the heat of a full summer but with warm, light evenings where I can snatch a ride after work.

Sometimes it’s good to stop for a while. So much can be lost by simply keeping my head down and turning a pedal. I think that sometimes I concentrate too much on times and speeds and forget to actually enjoy what I’m doing, I spend my time talking with my legs more than listening to my head.

Up here I can relax and forget about life for five minutes. A guy on a mountain bike cruises past. We exchange nods as he carries on, carving a path and enjoying his own adventure. Nothing comes close to an evening ride in the early summer sun. He knows it and I know it.

Next time you’re out on a ride, take a break somewhere nice and survey your surroundings. Breathe in the experience around you and escape the rat race.

The Dream

I've been contemplating getting a new bike for a while. To be honest, I really could do with a winter/all round/Audax bike as at present, I only have my trusty Specialized Allez Elite and my mountain bike.
I love the Allez. It's turned out to be a brilliant first proper bike and to a degree, it's probably all I need in a bicycle. I dislike riding it in winter and bad weather where you can almost hear the components crying as they get smeared in grit and road muck.
A winter bike is a sensible choice then and if I get one that will have a bit of flexibility, it could become an all-round bike and perhaps a light tourer. I figure a second hand purchase will make financial sense and if I stick to Specialised, I know the sizing will be spot on. I've decided that I'll keep an eye out for a good second hand Allez sport (possibly a triple for added flexibility) or a Tricross for the option of some light off road action. Once the summer is out of the way, i'll get the wallet out.....

So why's there a picture of the Specialised Venge at the top of the page? Well, I can dream can't I? I saw the bike on several websites and i have to say, it's my favourite looking bike at the moment. It looks super fast, just standing still. I thought dreaming would be the end of it, but seeing this bike and stumbling across a thread on the BikeRadar website regarding the influx of Chinese carbon frames got me thinking......

For the past few years, we've spent a fortune on a nursery place for my son. Thankfully, he starts school later this year, which means a saving of £700 a month. This gives me the flexibility of a potential bike build over the winter months. Looking around, the Chinese carbon frames seem to be getting rave reviews and as we all know, the majority of bike manufacturers produce their frames in the far east, so it's only natural that these factories would start selling unbranded frames at discounted prices.

A bit of searching and I found that one such well reviewed importer, produces a version of the Venge frame and it comes in around the £300 mark. I could order one and then with a mid range groupset, a few extras and utilising my Fulcrum 3 wheels (putting the stock ones back on the Allez) could see a build come in at just over £1000 for a 7kg full carbon bike that shouldn't look too dissimilar to the Venge. Wheels could then be upgraded at a later date when funds allow. Empty pipe dream? Watch this space........

Dragon Ride 2011 Report

This was the ride that I had been waiting for. A fair bit of effort had gone into the preparation but I had reservations about only signing up for the medium 70 mile course. With the rain on the day, I was glad that I’d made the right choice.

We arrived at our hotel on the Saturday, on the outskirts of Cardiff, 15 miles from the start of the Dragon. A Travelodge special, costing £19 between the 3 of us. Another 4 friends joined us on the Saturday and we decided to head out on a 30 mile spin to loosen the legs.

Not being familiar with the area, I mapped a route which turned out to be quite an event in itself, crossing 3-4 valleys with climbs that turned out to be steeper than those on the Dragon ride!

It was with slightly sore legs that we awoke on Sunday morning to find the sunshine from Saturday disappear, to be replaced with grey skies and the threat of rain. I’d spent most of the early start checking various weather sites on my phone, hoping to find one that I liked. Attempts were futile though, we were going to get wet. I wish I’d packed that gillet.

The M4 was a clear run and then we turned off at junction 35 to find a queue of cars waiting to get into the main car park. Whilst friends in a separate car turned off for the overflow parking, I was committed to the line and sat for 40 minutes until we got a space.

Once the bikes were unpacked, we set off to the start where we were confronted with the biggest group of cyclists I’ve ever seen. The line went on for ages and we waited for an hour to reach the timing mat and finally got away at 9.30am.

I’ve seen on some forums that people have criticised the organisation. Perhaps larger groups could have been released but when you choose to enter a mass event, you kind of expect some hold ups and although I was a bit cold, I wasn’t annoyed at the delay, just at the people who were obviously pushing in at the front and holding the rest of us patient folk up.

Four of our group got away early because of the parking so there were just three of us to start which quickly became two after we lost one on the first climb. After the legs got warm, a group of four came past and we latched onto the back of what turned out to be a pretty fast moving train. It meant that the first 30 miles was completed at a 19-20mph average before we slowed to appreciate the coast views as we headed in for the first feed stop.

On the whole, the standard of riding was pretty good but there were the usual few who decided to treat it like a race and demonstrate their lack of ability and group experience. I took particular dislike to the idiot who continually half-wheeled me and never took a turn and then a second moron who decided to ride between my mate and I when we were chatting. We turned our heads to find him half-wheeling the pair of us. I saw a couple of nasty accidents and road rash on one of the corners and hope that those riders weren’t badly hurt.

The route was fairly fast rolling and I was having an enjoyable time but was getting concerned with my heart rate monitor which was massively over-reading and indicating over 200bpm (my max is 190!) on the flats. I decided to ignore it and push on.

A large group came along just at the right time as we headed towards the dreaded Bwlch but then I lost touch when my chain over shifted past the big ring and onto my pedal. A quick stop and restart had me going again. Stupidly, I forgot to restart my Garmin which meant I missed 1.5 miles off my total distance. I need to learn to stop messing with these things!

The Bwlch came and completely lived up to the hype – what an awesome climb. I’ve experience high roads before in the Peak District and the Alps but nothing like this in the UK. Seeing 100’s of cyclists snaking their way up the climb was truly inspiring. I had no choice but to change into the granny ring and spin my way up at a pedestrian pace. I got passed a fair bit and I passed a few riders myself before reaching the top and then dropping down to the second feed stop.

The heavens then opened on the descent which made for some interesting cornering before the rain cleared and left a damp run in to the finish. The two of us decided to go for broke and took turns to get the final few miles finished. We passed quite a few riders on the run in before a final sprint for the finish in a final time of just over 4 ½ hours with a riding average of 16.9mph.

I’m pretty pleased with that but think I can definitely do better and if I do the ride next year, will aim for knocking 30 minutes off my time.

Overall, I think the ride was well organised when you consider just how many riders participated but I’m disappointed that the official timing didn’t work, although with a bike computer it doesn’t really matter. I don’t think this detracted from the overall atmosphere of the event, which I enjoyed thoroughly.

Saturday’s ride around Cardiff:
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/90525662
Dragon Ride:
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/90525645

The confusing world of GPS

With the view to longer rides and the possibility of some very long Audax events, I took the advantage of a birthday (30, thanks for asking, card lost in post again yeah?) to secure funds for a new GPS for the bike.

I’ve already got a Garmin Edge 305 which is a brilliant piece of kit for monitoring progress on a ride – cadence, heart rate etc but not so good at the mapping side of things. It has a “breadcrumb” style navigation where there is a blank screen and you follow a series of black dots to a destination.

This type of navigation has been sufficient so far in that I’ve completed a good number of long distance rides with it but I do feel I’ve been particularly lucky. A closed road or a detour could really leave me high and dry and I’d be stuck following a compass bearing to get back on route. Likewise, if I start a loop, I have to finish it rather than cut back early as I would have little idea of where I actually was.

The obvious choice would be to upgrade to the new Garmin 800 but after some research, I would be looking at £300 which is a bit steep as all I really want is the mapping as the other features, I already enjoy.

I browsed some forums and via YACF was recommended the Garmin Etrex for a number of reasons. Firstly, something I’d never really considered – battery life. Some Audax events can go on for days and seeing that the Edge series run on a rechargeable lithium battery, this could mean only getting 10-14 hours out of a unit, which during a long event would be next to useless. There are options such as the Portapow which are power storing devices that trickle charge units but it seems that would just be adding hassle.

The beauty of the Etrex series is that they run off AA batteries – be that rechargeable, alkaline or lithium and two AA batteries can last for up to 24 hours.

Secondly, these units are relatively cheap. I opted for the colour Etrex Legend HCX (the X means it has expandable memory with an SD card), costing £120 for the unit. The bike bracket (more of this later) was £10 although I’ve seen it for less elsewhere; I just wanted the ease of buying from one supplier.

First impressions are that the unit is very similar in looks to the Edge 605/705 series.

It’s not been entirely straightforward to set up – unlike car GPS, outdoor/cycling GPS units rarely come with maps, which I think is a bit of a joke really. I’d like to see Garmin try that with a car driver and see how many sales they lost to Tom Tom.

Anyway, I was loathed to spend £50 buying maps from Garmin so decided on mapping based on the Open Street Map which is basically free online mapping.

After some patient help from the guys on YACF, I managed to transfer a map file to the SD card and map tiles to mapsource so I can now plan and follow routes and tracks.

It was with my new fountain of mapping knowledge that I planned a little route on unfamiliar roads. Excitement bubbled over as I went to get my bike from the garage, Garmin in hand only to find…… a puncture.

I won’t let that stop me though and changed the tube to find that the handlebar mount I ordered was too small in diameter for my bars.

After some swearing, I admitted defeat and went out for a cycle on a more familiar route before going to the bike shop to get a Minoura Space Grip. This is basically a T bar that clamps onto your handlebars to free up some room for attaching lights and computers. It’s something I was going to buy anyway as with handlebars fast resembling the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon; I needed some form of additional mounting points.

You’ll have to wait until I actually get to use the Garmin in anger before you get a full product review……

Distance

It’s what I crave. Miles on rubber under wheels.

I’m not a fast rider. I can ride fast at times and I may be faster than some of the people I ride with but I’m not fast. Not in the true sense of the word anyway. I may aspire or pretend, but I’m not racer. With some hard work and improved fitness, I could become a good Cat 4 racer, maybe even become a Cat 3 but I’m not fast.

I read about people all the time, making the step up to racing and doing well. Triathletes who are fit but not racers, winning and climbing rank. Good for them.

Next year, I’ll give racing another go. Not because I have visions of glory, but because it’s fun. This year though, I’m all about distance. Going far for no particular reason but because I can.

I’ve had glimmers of it before, when I look around and others are flagging and I feel fresh. Determination and practice, that’s all it is. I’ve got plenty of the first. I know it’s inside me, I just have to try harder to coax it out.

Turbo FM

Busta's back in this track with Tiesto. Some brilliant moves in this video. If you think the dancing's good, you obviously haven't seen me throwing shapes at a family wedding....

The woman from O2 thinks I’m a pervert….

While I’m waiting for my new wireless router to arrive, my smartphone is unable to enjoy WiFi connectivity at home and so I’m restricted to the use of the 3G mobile connection. This isn’t much of a problem as mobile internet is pretty fast these days and I only really look at text based sites anyway.

I’m a big fan of the Inner Ring blog. It’s an absolute goldmine of information on the pro cycling scene and often first to come up with the latest stories. If you haven’t seen it before, it’s well worth checking out, unless you have no interest in cycling in which case you’d probably be better off finding a website that best suits your needs like www.beinganidiot.com.

Yesterday, I selected my Inner Ring bookmark on my phone to get my daily fix on the blog when I was confronted with an age restriction page from O2 (my network provider). Other sites seemed to be working ok so I was baffled and called them up.

I spoke to a very nice lady and told her of my problem and that I was having trouble visiting a sports website, in this case cycling related. She said that they had been having problems with their system and she’d received a few calls of this nature, more towards the online gambling sites. All it would require would be for her to fill out a form on my behalf and then my account would be back to normal within a couple of days. We went through the details and I thanked her for her help before she finished the call by saying, “Enjoy your cycling websites.”

Call me paranoid but I’m sure the way she said cycling was a little bit disbelieving and if it was a video call her comments would include the sign language for speech marks followed by a wink. I think she was assuming that I wanted to surf some mobile porn sites.

I’m just lucky that I didn’t tell her I was visiting Big Ring Riding next. She'd have fallen off her chair..........

Last night I was angry.

I think with the recent run of bad luck, i've had some pent up aggression. I've been couped up indoors for a couple of days too so think I was going a little stir crazy.
In this kind of situation it's best to get out for a while rather than take out my moods on the rest of the family. I wrapped up warm and put my lights on my bike for my first night ride of the year. When i'm in one of those kind of moods, there's no forward planning, just a flat out ride to wherever I feel like it. There was a fair bit of traffic on the road and with the cool air and sensation of speed that night riding brings, it all just added to the exhilaration.
I went for every gap and powered up every climb like a man possessed and then it happened, it started to rain. You'd think that my mood would get worse but a funny thing happened, I started to laugh. I was enjoying the harsh conditions, I was enjoying the suffering.
It finally dawned on me the difference between riding a bike and being a cyclist.
A bike rider will make do with the job in hand but a cyclist will embrace the conditions as if they're part and parcel of the experience.
In a way, it was a glimpse into the world of the classics rider. A world where harsh conditions and suffering go hand in hand and the real men amongst the peloton summon the strength to excel. I guess that's the difference - i'm content with being out there in it for an hour, they're not content unless they're out there for 7 hours, on cobbles.

Video killed the radio star......

For some time now there's been a raging debate over whether the UCI are right in banning radios from pro cycling. I've lost count of the number of articles i've read where riders have either been for or against the ban and the odd one where they can't seem to make their minds up (Dan Martin in this month's Pro Cycling rider diary).
So, what do I think?
I think it's a pathetic attempt for the UCI to try to recapture the "glory" days of years gone past. I think that it's easy for anyone to look back with rose tinted glasses and assume that modern technology has ruined the sport of cycling. I hear it all the time from the elder males in my family when it comes to football. "Footballers were tougher back then" or how great players from the past generation were. I'm sure Pele was an amazing footballer but he wouldn't go the distance in a modern Premiership game. Whenever I hear great things about football from yesteryear, it reminds me of the classic chant from Fantasy Football League, "Old football was shit but not as shit as Andy Cole....."
Was cycling in the past that great? It's easy to remember classic victories from Merckx but we've seen our fair share of exciting races in recent, modern times.
Once again, it just appears that the UCI are stuck in a time warp and refuse to accept the future of cycling and the technology that it brings. I just can't see the advantages of racing without radios. The only thing I see it creating is danger and confusion. If that's what the UCI want to achieve, why don't they release a herd of cows into the peloton at random intervals during a race?
All I think will happen is that the odd breakaway will stay away when the sprint teams misjudge a gap through lack of information or the road book is wrong or the poor domestiques amongst the teams will be forced into visiting the team car more often, in addition to the usual water carrying duties. Are people really naive to think that pro cyclists can't make decisions for themselves? Do we think that riders like Alberto Contador are puppets and can only attack when race directors tell them to?
When I look back to my favourite races in recent years, I can only think of one race where radios were really significant and that was the one beautifully captured in Chasing Legends where Columbia HTC ripped apart the peloton during a windswept stage in the 2009 Tour de France. Did radios ruin the stage? I think they had the opposite effect and spiced up a stalemate of a situation.
It's important to remember that cycling in the past is exactly that, it's in the past. An era when technology may not have been present but widespread doping was. Were races more exciting for those reasons rather than the technological advances that we have become accustomed to?
Is it our fault? As cycling's popularity has increased and coverage is at the best it's been for years, are we the reason that races have become less aggressive? Do we expect too much? Is cycling the victim of it's own success and has TV killed the radio star?

Turbo FM

Back to form this week with another pumping track to get you going.

Before anyone gets in there first, no it isn't me in the video.......

Spring is nearly here........

It seems that all the last few weeks have brought is rain. On the odd days where it has been dry i've been busy so haven't had the chance to get out.
I've also had an exceptional bad run of luck. A broken set of glasses was the least of my troubles (still no response from Wiggle by the way). Next to fail was my wireless router but fortunately Belkin customer service is a lot different from Wiggle. I called them, they emailed me a freepost label and i've posted the old one back for a new replacement to come by return mail. No quibbles, just great customer care.
This was the least of my worries though when we came home to a burst hot water tank. Parting with that much money when it's not a bicycle related purchase is a real shame. Could it get any worse? Yep. My 3 year old son is struck with an illness that requires 7 days off nursery and here's me with no annual leave left.
Still, it all seems to be in hand now so I can concentrate on the bike again.
The classics season is now upon us and i've decided that it's probably my favourite time in the cycling calendar, so much so in fact that i've sunk to new geek lows and have been watching the untelevised cycling on the live internet feeds.... in Belgian. Still it's good to watch and you had to feel for Juan Antonio Flecha to put in that much work and get pipped on the line on Saturday.
I dusted off the bike for the first time since last week's trip to Brighton and headed off into the country lanes with a couple of the guys. Felt good to be out and we managed to steal some Spring sunshine. The route wasn't billed as a hilly one but there was a fair bit of rolling road with a few punchy little climbs thrown in for good measure.
At this time of year, I know base miles count but i've found that my biggest progress in the last year has been my leg power and I think that comes down to sprints and hill climbs. As often as I can, I sprint up the shorter hills until my legs give out or I reach the top - whichever comes first! I think this helps with learning to recover quickly too.
In the end it was 55 pretty hard miles with a few bonus climbs thrown in at the end. I was pretty ruined by the time I got home and had to chuck a protein bar down my throat and slip into something more comfortable - my Maxgear compression tights.......

Men at “work”

It seems everywhere I go at the minute the roads resemble a war zone. Potholes, road works, temporary traffic lights, burst water mains and essential gas works. I wouldn’t mind so much but the same roads seem to be continually dug up all the time and whenever I go past the sites are always devoid of people working. There’s a “men at work” sign but no actual men at work.


I seem to be dodging the same potholes day in, day out. The same ones that I reported and have now been decorated with a ring of spray paint by the local authority. Surely it can’t take much longer to chuck a bit of tarmac in there rather than carry out road graffiti?

Even when the work does get completed, we’re left with a patchwork of repairs where savings are attempted as no contractor wants to resurface an entire stretch of road. So, what are we going to do about it? Nothing because we’re British and we just ignore it and retain that stiff upper lip.

I suppose the only benefit of these road works are seeing sights like I saw today, a workman in a mini tipper trying to get some four wheel drift on a corner…….

Was that Joe 90 on a bicycle?

I took a bit of stick on the weekend for my choice of eyewear. With the customer service chimps at Wiggle on a tea break, I had what is commonly referred to as “a situation”.

Two pairs of broken specs and a long ride to Brighton meant that I needed a quick solution. I’ve got a pair of Oakley Radar glasses on my wish list for later in the year and I don’t want to risk spending much money until I buy the Radars in case Wiggle finally get around to sending me a replacement pair, so I looked at alternatives.

The first option would be to ride without eyewear but I’ve had so many insects and stones ping off glasses in the past that it just isn’t worth the risk of riding without. Eye protection also affords the luxury of not crying after every 30mph descent. I’ve had the odd occasion where I’ve ridden without glasses and reached my destination looking like I’ve just watched E.T for the first time.

So it seems that my only other option would be to pick up a cheap set of glasses to tide me over. All I could really find without waiting for a mail order delivery were around the £15 mark which is a bit more than I wanted to pay and would require a special trip to a bike shop. I then remembered a discussion on the Bikeradar forum where people were singing the praises of safety glasses.

I had to go into town anyway so whilst I was out I called into Clas Ohlson to see what I can find. For anyone who has never been in Clas Ohlson, it’s reminiscent of Ikea minus all the cheap chipboard furniture. I can’t think of an item that Clas Ohlson doesn’t sell. It even does the odd bit of bike stuff and is particularly cheap for KMC chain links and gear/brake cables.

So I find myself hunting to see what I can find, when I come across these little beauties:

Now, I remember CAT boots from my school days but never knew they offered safety glasses too. I had to get them, just for the nostalgia. £10.98 for the clear version seemed a snip and they’d come in handy for any DIY jobs that crop up later in the year too.

I went home smug with my new bargain purchase.

That’s when the mocking started. The frames were a bit on the big side but I thought this would help protect me from the wind even if I did look a bit like Ali G in them.

How did they perform on the ride then? Absolutely faultlessly, better in fact than any glasses I’ve previously worn. I felt no wind rush around my eyes despite a 40mph descent and the optics were absolutely crystal clear with no distortion.

I’m now in an even bigger dilemma - fashion or function?

Turbo FM

Something slightly different for you this week on Turbo FM. Not much of a track to listen to on the turbo but maybe something to help you reflect on the pain after.

Sit back, relax and picture yourself having finished an epic ride, relaxing in the late evening summer's sun with a beer in hand, bathed in the smug satisfaction that a hard day in the saddle can bring.

A classic from the man in black:

The cost of saving

I have a love/hate relationship with online retailers. I love their pricing but more often than not, hate their service.

That’s why I try as much as possible to shop locally and keep the local wheels of economy turning.

I’m fortunate enough that Geoffrey Butler cycles are my local bike shop (http://www.gbcycles.co.uk/)
I've always found their staff to be really helpful and whenever I’ve had any warranty issues, they’ve gone beyond their usual duty and really looked after me. Their January sales are legendary too. I recently picked up a pair of Fulcrum Racing 3 wheels at a genuine 20% off.

Sometimes though, it’s necessary to go elsewhere, often where pricing dictate or your local bike shop don’t stock a particular brand or item. In this situation, I’ve found that I’ve been pretty happy with my purchases and occasionally make a substantial saving that warrants an online order. Regardless of the saving though, there’s one thing that often lacks - Customer Service.

I’m going to give you a few examples of differing service so you can see what I mean.

Geoffrey Butler – the STI Shimano 105 shifter on my 16 month old bike stopped working. I took it into Geoffrey Butler on the Saturday and by the following week, they’ve removed the shifter, sent it to Shimano and refitted a whole new set. The cost? £20 for some new bar tape, end caps and a token labour gesture.

Fudge Cycles (bike shop that also do mail order and online retail) – The powerlink on my SRAM chain breaks after 3 months use. Quick email to them and I receive a replacement link, free of charge in the post within a couple of days.

Wiggle (online retailer) – based on recommendation, I bought a pair of DHB glasses with interchangeable lenses which broke where the frame meets the nose section. This frame is designed to flex when the lenses are interchanged. All DHB items carry a lifetime warranty so I emailed Wiggle but received no response. I was surprised to find a replacement pair arrive in the post within a couple of days. It would have been nice to have a reply to my email but I appreciated the replacement.

Four months on, the same thing has happened on the replacement pair – a break in exactly the same spot. So, I email Wiggle. No response. I email on two more occasions. Still no response. It’s been two weeks now and I’m still without a replacement pair or a reply to any of my correspondence.

This whole incident has raised a few questions. Will an initial saving on a purchase outweigh the final cost?

When magazines recommend items, are they driven by actual real life experience or on behalf of the advertising team?

Will I ever receive a replacement set of specs?

Tune in again to find out. Guess where I’ll be shopping from now on………

A February trip to the seaside

London to Brighton on a bicycle is an iconic ride that many aspire to but for cycling enthusiasts is more a “rite of passage”, especially living in the South East.


I’ve completed the journey several times now (and back!) but arriving at Brighton Pier having got there under my own steam always fills me with a warm glow, even on a cold February morning.

Ordinarily, we save the seaside trips until a warmer season but an opportunity to palm the kids off with the in-laws meant that I was able to undertake the journey with my better half on her first bike ride to the coast, coinciding with her longest ride yet.

Whenever we head to Brighton, we take a less direct route than the British Heart Foundation annual ride and head into the country lanes. It’s slightly longer but does offer more tranquil, traffic free riding with some added lumpiness towards the end, whilst still being able to enjoy the majestic Ditchling Beacon.

Unlike the BHF annual ride, there was no walking up the Beacon yesterday and I’m pleased to say that we all made it to the coast with one puncture providing the only drama of the ride.

My dirty little secret.

Something else happened to me yesterday and it’s been a bit of a decision as to whether I post about it or not. I like to share what I can with this blog but sometimes it’s a borderline judgment as to whether I should write about it or not.

I feel in this case, I should share my experience with you, in case you ever find yourself in a similar position.

My journey home wasn’t quite as straightforward as I made out in my previous post. I had a run in with a lorry which led to an incident that I’d rather just erase form my mind forever.

As per usual in this country, they’re digging up the roads around where I live yet again and so it’s a slalom course just to reach my front door. As I turned off the main road into the residential maze where I live, a tipper truck was reversing to unload some ballast into a newly dug hole.

I waited until he stopped reversing. The road weasel directing him looked at me and then shouted something at the driver, which I assumed was to let me past. I went to go around the lorry and drew level, just at the same time he decided that he wanted to pull away again. Fortunately, he saw me in his mirror but I still had to unclip and hop up onto the grass verge to avoid a DKNWHY pancake.

Next, came the toot of the horn and a string of expletives from the cab. I don’t bother to retaliate in these situations anymore for the simple fact that it just achieves nothing and since having a family to support, I try to avoid confrontation.

I think it was more communication thing but in future, I will exercise more caution and wait until I’m entirely certain that my route is safe. Lesson learnt.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the end of my problem. I put the bike in the garage and set about removing my glasses and helmet. Something was bothering me though, a distinctive odour. Dog faeces.

I looked around and then it dawned on me, when I unclipped and had that brief dismount onto the grass verge, I’d found the only spot of grass in the locality that had a higher ratio of shit than grass. My heart sank as the bile began to rise.

For people that know me, I’m a little OCD about cleanliness and dog shit is up there with my biggest hates. In my opinion, people that don’t clean up after their dog should be shot or at least put on nappy duty in a retirement home. I detest them but would piss on them if they were on fire, just for the simple excuse to clean up after myself and teach them how to do it.

I now had a situation. How the hell do you clean dog shit from a set of Look Keo Classic carbon pedals and cleats?

Fortunately, the pedals were only lightly soiled so a baby wipe and a spray of disinfectant did the job but the cleats were a different story.

First, I tried taking the disinfectant spray and a hose pipe to offending shoe. It was more a hopeful, token effort though as we both knew it was a futile attempt. It was going to be a big job, removing the big job.

So, I’m above the sink, trying not to gag as I take an allen key to the cleat bolts. I end up removing them all and then with a mix of chemicals and scalding water get it all clean and begin the refit process. I think I’m finished but still can’t shift the aroma from my nostrils. Then I see it, the offending piece, wedged into the bottom of the hex hole on the bolt. I wanted to scream. What am I going to do now??!! Armed with a selection of cotton buds, I set to work and after minutes of toil finished the clean before throwing myself into the shower where I almost sat sobbing, reminiscent of that scene in The Crying Game.

Now that it’s out in the open, I never want to speak of this incident again.

El Bonko - he comes when you least expect it

They say you always remember your first time, that it will stay with you your entire life. The rush and excitement, followed by the lack of energy, low and lack of self respect.

I think it happened to me yesterday, although I’m not quite sure. Being a virgin at these experiences, I’m still sitting here wondering whether I did have my first time or whether it was something else and I’ve got it all wrong.

The day started off pleasantly enough and I decided to go for a hard session to get the lungs going and get the legs pumping. Maybe, I should clarify myself a bit more at this point and explain that I’m talking about cycling and the dreaded bonk.

Over the winter, I’ve taken things relatively easy and haven’t done any hard distance sessions on the road for quite some time. Towards the end of 2010, I had a few outings with my club on the weekly chain gang and felt quite good.

For anyone who doesn’t know what a chain gang is, it’s effectively a ride at race pace where the aim if for a string of riders to maintain a fast pace, taking turns on the front to maintain a rhythm and share the workload of riding into the wind.

Now the spell of bad weather has calmed down and temperatures have risen to the point that my penis no longer looks like a shrivelled prune at the end of a ride, the evening chain gang has started up again and my excuses for missing the last few are starting to wear thin. I need to get involved again.

My first step started yesterday with a solo attempt on the chain gang route in an effort to familiarise myself with the roads again and give it my all in an endeavour to ruin myself. The point being that if I can go all out and finish on my own, it will be a breeze with 6-7 other people riding with me.

Needless to say, I achieved what I set out to do. I ruined myself.

It all started ok and I maintained a 20mph+ average for the first 16.5 miles from home but then when I hit the turn and faced back into the wind, the wheels began to fall off my wagon. My speed went down and when I hit the climb at Earlswood, I was a spent force. I just had nothing more to give and ended up getting home after 33 miles with an average speed of 16.5mph.

Was it the bonk or just early poor season fitness? I don’t know. I think the safest bet is to assume it was the bonk and use it as an excuse to eat more Jaffa Cakes.

Turbo FM

This week's inspiration to turbo train is brought to you by the jilted generation.

Spitfire by The Prodigy.

By the way, i've been chucking elbows in the sprints too.

Contador

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past couple of days or hold no interest in cycling whatsoever, you’ll already know that Alberto Contador has been cleared of intentional doping by the Spanish cycling federation.

I honestly don’t know how I feel about it and I think that I’m not alone in my feelings.

For the past few years, Contador has been Mr Cycling. His athletic prowess, unique riding style and dominating attacks have obliterated the opposition and monopolised the grand tours. It’s been brilliant to watch.

The 2009 Tour de France played out like a feature film where the smaller, playground wimp was bullied by the brash American, determined to take his lunch money, only for the shy wallflower to rise up and beat the bully into submission. I warmed to him, hell, I even cheered for him.

We applauded him, placed him up high on that pedestal and then worshipped him alongside the other historic greats.
The foundations of the king’s statue began to crack in 2010, following the chain “incident” with Andy Schleck. Fans stood by him, “Alberto doesn’t cheat, it must be a mistake. He didn’t know Schleck had dropped his chain.”
I want to believe the innocence, even though common sense mocks my naivety. It clouded the end of the race and the win became a dark stain on the yellow jersey.

Rumours then begin to emerge about a failed drug test but the reports aren’t clear as to whether it’s accidental or not. I want them to be false but then I don’t want dopers in the sport. It’s like denying your wife’s having an affair or that your brother’s a drug addict. The signs are there and you know common sense says the instincts are right but you just don’t want to believe the rumours that shatter the illusion.

As it stands, he’ll race and whether the ban is upheld in future months after the appeal is an issue we’ll see as, if or when it happens. One thing is for certain, I’ll be upset regardless of the decision and it is another low blow to the sport of cycling.

Why i'll never be a professional cyclist.........

I can't get enough of Twitter. Not because I enjoy tweeting - my life is so boring that my tweets bring little entertainment to the world.
I enjoy it because i'm nosey. I want to know what everyone else is doing. It's the same with Facebook. I want to know that the girl I went to school with 20 years ago, who used to be hot when I was 10 but now resembles Simon Cowell in a wig is having a tuna sandwich for lunch. These things interest me, not because i'm sad enough to really care about the filling of a sandwich but because it reassures me that my life is good and that i'm doing ok.
OK magazine doesn't interest me but I can sit and read the wattage that Alex Dowsett is putting out on a training ride and actually sit and digest the information as if it's this year's bestseller. Why? Because it fuels my imagination. I want to make myself believe that had I made different choices in life, these people I read about could have been me. I'd like to think that if David Brailsford saw me riding my 2nd hand BMX around the village green, i'd be up there in the mountains giving Andy Schleck "the look" before launching a devastating attack.
The realisation? I have never had the potential to become a professional cyclist because I just don't know how to suffer. To look at what the pros go through is truly humbling. 6 hours in the rain, in January, just to ensure that the base fitness is there for a race in July.
For me, if I look out the window and the clouds look a bit grey, I declare a rest day. Should I be sad about that? I don't think so, it's not as if i'm telling the world that i'm eating a tuna sandwich......