Was that Joe 90 on a bicycle?

I took a bit of stick on the weekend for my choice of eyewear. With the customer service chimps at Wiggle on a tea break, I had what is commonly referred to as “a situation”.

Two pairs of broken specs and a long ride to Brighton meant that I needed a quick solution. I’ve got a pair of Oakley Radar glasses on my wish list for later in the year and I don’t want to risk spending much money until I buy the Radars in case Wiggle finally get around to sending me a replacement pair, so I looked at alternatives.

The first option would be to ride without eyewear but I’ve had so many insects and stones ping off glasses in the past that it just isn’t worth the risk of riding without. Eye protection also affords the luxury of not crying after every 30mph descent. I’ve had the odd occasion where I’ve ridden without glasses and reached my destination looking like I’ve just watched E.T for the first time.

So it seems that my only other option would be to pick up a cheap set of glasses to tide me over. All I could really find without waiting for a mail order delivery were around the £15 mark which is a bit more than I wanted to pay and would require a special trip to a bike shop. I then remembered a discussion on the Bikeradar forum where people were singing the praises of safety glasses.

I had to go into town anyway so whilst I was out I called into Clas Ohlson to see what I can find. For anyone who has never been in Clas Ohlson, it’s reminiscent of Ikea minus all the cheap chipboard furniture. I can’t think of an item that Clas Ohlson doesn’t sell. It even does the odd bit of bike stuff and is particularly cheap for KMC chain links and gear/brake cables.

So I find myself hunting to see what I can find, when I come across these little beauties:

Now, I remember CAT boots from my school days but never knew they offered safety glasses too. I had to get them, just for the nostalgia. £10.98 for the clear version seemed a snip and they’d come in handy for any DIY jobs that crop up later in the year too.

I went home smug with my new bargain purchase.

That’s when the mocking started. The frames were a bit on the big side but I thought this would help protect me from the wind even if I did look a bit like Ali G in them.

How did they perform on the ride then? Absolutely faultlessly, better in fact than any glasses I’ve previously worn. I felt no wind rush around my eyes despite a 40mph descent and the optics were absolutely crystal clear with no distortion.

I’m now in an even bigger dilemma - fashion or function?