Fantastic Mr Fash

I was watching the new version of Gladiators the other day and I think that Ian Wright is trying to be the new John Fashanu.

I like Ian Wright, I should really, being an Arsenal fan but I don’t really think he’s good enough to live up to the Fash.

For starters, Fash had the catchphrase. “Awooooga!” * Sure, it was silly and a little out of place and a bit pathetic but the fans lapped it up like a tiny kitten at a saucer of milk.

Fash is the ultimate professional too. He comes across all nice and fun on Gladiators but I’ve seen the darker side to the man when he was manager for the reality TV series Fash’s Football Challenge. He can be one mean, moody guy and never hesitated to put players in their place. He rolled up at training with the big manager’s coat and the attitude of a man who facilitated the Wimbledon glory days, sort of Big Ron meets P.Diddy.

These are qualities that I don’t think Ian Wright will ever aspire to. Wrighty’s too cockney wide boy to rival the Fash.

I wondered what the Fash is up to now (briefly) and so googled him to find out. Wikipedia claim he’s hosting the Nigerian version of Deal or no Deal. I guess the same title could have been given to the contract to appear. Is that a step up or down?
Does he get to wear Noel-esque jumpers?
Is the Nigerian banker the same one that keeps emailing me to cash a banker’s draft for him and take a massive cut?

That would be fantastic for the winner of the show. “Here’s your banker’s draft for a million pounds. You can take the money or you can have this draft for $4,000,000 which we require to be moved outside of the country. Your assistance is required by the Bank of Nigeria and for completing the transfer, you will receive 50% of the funds as commission….”

So Fash, you’re a hero, a gent and a scholar. Keep up the good work and maybe one day you’ll aspire to the genius that is Kris Akabusi MBE. He’s an inspirational corporate speaker now, if you’re wondering and has his own Facebook page “The Kris Akabusi Sex Stories……..”

*There is some contention as to who coined this particular catchphrase as both Fash and Akabusi utilised it throughout appearances on Gladiators.